The liberal fallacy

This has done the rounds of the internet several times but I can’t resist publishing it here.  I have seen it before and I thought I had uploaded it to my web site but I can’t find it so here goes!

A young woman was about to finish her first year at university.  Like so many others of her age, she considered herself to be very liberal and, among other liberal ideals, she was very much in favour of higher taxes to support more government programmes, in other words, redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed.  Based on the lectures in which she had participated and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had harboured an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his for far too long.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programmes.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing at her university.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she was heading for an honours degree and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was reading for a very difficult degree and was constantly studying which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy options.  She never studies and she will barely manage a lower second.  She is so popular on campus; university for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for lectures because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct a grade or two from your scores and give it to your friend who only has a lower second?  That way you will both have equal degrees and that would certainly be a fair and equal distribution of effort.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea.  How would that be fair?   I’ve worked really hard for my degree!  I’ve invested a lot of time and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”

Margaret Thatcher

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, read on!

Nick Clegg

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a TV Programme, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”

About Keith R Mitchell CBE

Qualified as a Chartered Accountant in 1967. Pursued a successful career in financial training and publishing until selling his interests in 1990. Elected a County Councillor for the Bloxham Division in 1989. Leader of Oxfordshire County Council 5 November 2001 to 15 May 2012. Chairman of the South East England Regional Planning Committee July 2002 to July 2005. Chairman of the South East England Regional Assembly July 2005 to July 2008. In HM the Queen’s 2007 Birthday Honours, appointed a Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire in recognition of services to local government.
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