I took an old friend to the shops the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 76).    We decided to grab a bite at a snack bar    I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.   The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours – green,   red, orange and blue. My friend kept staring at her.  The teenager kept looking and would find him staring every time.   When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked: “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?” Knowing my friend, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response;    I knew he would have a good one!  In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid …. “Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid.”